"Judas son of James, and Judas Iscariot, who became a traitor"
Have you ever noticed that we live in a society that gravitates toward the frightful? Think about, horror films are still made. Why? Because people keep going to see them. Video games that instill fear continue to be produced, stocked, sold, and new orders put in for more. And, that traffic that you can't understand where it began, is many times passersby who absolutely must slow down and see the results of some undoubtedly untimely circumstance.
What's scarier than anything Hollywood, Nintendo, or the interstate closest to you can produce or host, is when we, perhaps as Christians, live in such a way as though what we have in Christ really doesn't matter. A dangerous road we travel when we being to take our eyes off of Jesus, slip into "cruise control," veer off from time to time to indulge the pleasure of the moment, and check the map from time to time to see if we're still headed somewhat in the right direction. Scary.
Judas became a traitor because that is who he was, or at least it is who he chose to be. He remained with Jesus and the other eleven disciples, sat under the academics of Jesus, participated in the activities of Jesus, but never really engaged in the application of Jesus into his heart and everyday life. He buckled under the weight of his own pride and pleasure. He was right there, and yet was so far away. Why? Because, it was of his own refusal to surrender fully and to abide in the presence of God.
Choosing, regardless of what "season" you find yourself in, to abide in the presence of Christ, will continue to be the to success in your personal spiritual growth. Be diligent with the academics - study, be in the Word, learn what it means to really be a disciple of Jesus. Stay committed to the activity - be an active part of what God is doing, as an overflow from what He's showing you. And, be diligent to apply it - live it out. As you draw closer to Him, and He to you, you will find yourself being blessed day after day by the power of His presence and the faithfulness of grace, mercy, and love. As you abide in Him, becoming a traitor will not be scary. It will become non-existent.