One of the most confusing times in life is when you are experiencing dueling emotions. Whether bad or good, I generally prefer one or the other, because at least you know what to expect. When you know what to expect, it's easier...MUCH EASIER to maintain control. I guess that's what it is, isn't it? We like to be in control.
Unfortunately, that's just not the way God created life. He didn't create it to be controlled by us. He calls for us to TRUST in Him, DEFER to Him, LEAN on Him, TRUST in Him, SURRENDER to Him, YIELD to Him, and of course, to TRUST in Him.
Trust doesn't mean we understand. Most times it means we don't. If we understood, there would really be no need for trust. I remember being at a place in my life, doing what I love to do, that had me surrounded by situations that I definitely had no comprehension or understanding of. What I understood, was that I was not happy, I was hurt, felt mistreated, frustrated, and well...you know...some times very, very mad. But God had a plan.
Yes, God had a plan. He always does. Always will. It's funny, because people always love to quote the verse in Jeremiah 29:11 that reminds us "For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. Plans to bless you, not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future." What they fail usually to quote, is verse 10 which reads: "This is what the LORD says: "When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my gracious promise to bring you back to this place. For I know the plans..."
Interesting isn't it? Sometimes, we just need to trust, because He really does know the plans He has for us, even when it means a season of time in a place we don't want to be. I thank God for those places in my life. Without them, I would have never been ready for where God has my family and I for the last 3 years. It's been a place of healing, learning, and observing an awesome God do awesome things. And now, He's at it again. He's moving us again. This time to do what we've never done. My heart aches as we prepare to say "goodbye" to those we have poured our hearts out to. But my heart beats rapidly with fear and excitement at what God is doing in our lives.
God calls us to trust when we don't understand. It just works better that way.